When You Mourn The Loss Of A Person, Are You Sad For Them Or For Yourself?

The loss of a person is something quite common in our lives. In fact, if there is one thing for sure in this life, it is that one day we will die.

While in some cultures they celebrate death and in others consider it a liberation of the person, in ours it is a disgrace.

Sadness, frustration, anger … all these and many more feelings invade us inside. Sometimes if this doesn’t happen, we even feel bad.

But, is it that when we mourn the loss of someone we are more sad for ourselves than for that person ? Today we will answer this question.

Rejection in the face of loss

It is curious to think about how we reject something for which there is no possible solution.

We have spoken on many occasions about accepting the adversities of life, those toxic people who will not change and those mistakes that we constantly make.

All that we try to accept. Why not death?

Let’s imagine that a loved one has passed away due to illness, cancer, for example. This is very painful, very destructive, and sometimes there is no way out.

However, although it is natural to feel sadness and melancholy, many people accept this ending as something positive.

After an illness in which you see a loved one suffer, do you prefer that they continue to live and go through that boredom or that everything take its course naturally?

The rejection of loss arises from something much deeper. A selfish feeling that invades us and causes us to think only of ourselves.

Loss and dependency

There is a kind of link between loss and emotional dependency. In couples, this leads to destructive relationships; in loss, to a self-destructive relationship.

Suddenly, we feel unable to live without that person and that is what really saddens us. We are not saddened that he is gone, but that he has left us alone.

This thought is most selfish, especially since your emotions are controlling you. We know better than anyone that, once this is over, we will move on.

Without a doubt, the worst attitude of all is the denial of loss, the rejection of death. Is it any use to impose ourselves on what is already a fact?

We spend our energy, our time and everything we have to suffer, not for the other person, but for the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

However, fleeing death is not an option, nor is it a negative. It is something that is better to accept because, after all, it is she who will win.

Life does not ask for your permission

Life is not going to ask your permission to take who you love the most.

The consequences of this can be devastating if you haven’t learned to accept this as natural. If you take refuge in your pain, you feed it and you start to believe that you will not be able to move on.

Life is not responsible for how you feel, for how bad everything is going since that person left you. It is only yours the responsibility to accept it as it is.

Talking about death openly, stopping considering it a taboo, or avoiding having to fake sadness will help you avoid feeling bad.

A loved one can die and you will be happy that the great malaise that plagued them has ended. Perhaps you do not cry out or dramatize your sadness because you know how to accept death.

It is important not to get carried away by what society imposes on us. Absurd beliefs that, at times, cause us displeasure and invite us to suffer for free.

The non-acceptance of death, possession in the partner or the error as a synonym of failure are some of the things that we have implanted as true. Considering them differently makes us feel, sometimes, like bad people.

However, death is something natural and, therefore, we should not rebel against what will one day touch us all.