Can I Call You First?
After an appointment, we are embarrassed to call first. How long should I wait to take that step? We give you an answer in this post.
Do I wait for you to call me or can I call you first? Will I be desperate if I make contact? If you do not communicate, is it because you are not interested? Questions crowd our minds and there is no room for anything. We solve your doubts in this article!
Does he call or do I call?
This question is as existential as the “to be or not to be” of Hamlet. It puts us in a very distressing situation!
And it is that on the one hand we want to wait for him to show that he is interested in us. However, on the other hand, we cannot wait to find out how he is and if we will see him again.
If he has your number and does not call you, you will automatically think that he does not like you. Then you will calm down and realize that perhaps he has been busy or that he is waiting a little to communicate with you, since according to “popular opinion” it is not well seen to be desperate or anxious.
When after a date or meeting someone, the other does not show signs of life, you can also ask yourself the question of can I call first? Actually, there is nothing that prevents you from doing it, there are no laws that prohibit you.
You can spend the whole day with your mobile in your hand, even dial its number, but you think a thousand times before pressing “call”.
You are very ashamed and you do not know how he will take it! What if it’s a thousand at work? What if it’s wrong for me to take that step? Will I look desperate? And if … That conditional that, worth the redundancy, “conditions” us when we do something we want.
How to make a determination
A young person may not pay as much attention to “I called you the other day” or “I waited a week to send you a message.” You may be wondering when is the best time to talk to that girl you have liked so much.
Keep in mind that it is also a bit embarrassing for him to call you after meeting or going on a date and he is probably waiting for the right moment.
When would that ideal time be? When you are not working, studying, shopping, drinking coffee with your friends or walking your dog. Finding the perfect time can be very difficult!
In addition, even if you believe that you are calm at home and that you can speak without problems; There is a possibility that a problem will arise for him!
What happens if I decide to call first?
There is no rule that indicates how long we must allow to pass from when we see each other until we speak on the phone. However, the truth is that culturally men like to feel that they are in control of the situation.
If they do not call the next day or in the following days, it may be because they have not had time or that they consider it appropriate to allow a week to pass so as not to be so “harassing”.
The same happens with women, because if you send him a message the morning after the date, he may consider either that you are a controlling person or even that your anxiety or despair is too much for him.
It is true that you have every right to call first if you have loved it and if you want to keep in touch. However, you should also think ahead (if that is your intention).
How to act on the first call?
A man prefers to take the initiative for cultural reasons or personal pride and, although it may sound macho, that can be good for the fledgling relationship. Even if he does not have the reins in the couple, he must believe that he is “the one in charge”. Therefore, you better wait a few days before calling or communicating with him.
To kill time, you can do any type of activity that makes you think about something else. Do not stare at your mobile, do not neglect your obligations … Go on with your life normally and do not worry, sooner or later it will call you.
When I do, don’t start with a sermon or a “why didn’t you call me before?” Reprimand. . Otherwise, it could take it to mean that you control it or make a scene of it and it will always be.
In the event that you cannot wait any longer and decide to call first, take into account the time you contact him: find that time when he is not working, at the university or at the gym. For example, you can choose at night before going to sleep, it will be a pleasant surprise and you will both be calm to talk.
Your tone of voice should be friendly, complicit and very pleasant; no recriminations, complaints or reprimands. Let me just explain what he has done in all these days of “absence” and why he has not called you before.
